Bathroom Buddies

Toddler Story:

There is an understanding that once you have kids, you no longer have any privacy. The day I lost my privacy is when I think I was officially inducted into parenthood. My 5 year old was 4 at the time and I had been in her life for about a year. Granted, both biological parents have strongly encouraged her to look to me as a parental figure and have supported me with any type of parental liberty I have taken. The day I lost my bathroom privacy, I had closed the door behind me. As I was relieving myself, I hear banging on the door. My youngest bonus daughter was yelling on the other side:

Bonus daughter: "Rucka, are you in the bathroom?"

Me: "Yes."

BD: "Let me in! I want to be with you!"


BD: "Are you being good in there?"

Me: "Yes?"

BD: "Okay, I love you!"

Me: "Love you too!"

Inner dialogue: "This is so weird!!!"

Over time, I just got used to it. Even my youngest's cousin, who is two years younger than her likes to go in the bathroom with me. She says she does it "just in case I need help". I see them when they're on the toilet because one or the other is being potty trained or trying to master the skill of wiping themselves. So seeing someone on the toilet is totally normal in their world! We talk when I'm on the toilet, probably because this is what their moms do with them. This is where I've learned what their favorite colors are or who their favorite Disney princesses are, you know, the important things. I suppose it's a good thing to normalize nudity to a degree. It's not like I'm exposing myself to toddlers, I'm just peeing. I think it's counter productive to hide myself like I'm scared of nudity or of what they'll see. To children, it's just your body and it's normal because their bodies are normal. At some point, everyone finds themselves naked with other people, like in locker rooms or, I dunno, a theater production. There's a lot of nudity happening backstage because we're all doing quick costume changes. You just get used to it. No, it's never been upsetting for me or the other actors because no one is watching each other like creepy psychopaths! If someone does that they get fired! We keep things respectful. There is a line that you don't cross. I don't want my children to be terrified of nudity because I don't want them to think something is wrong with their bodies.

Oddly enough, I think I will miss the bathroom talks when the girls get older.

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