Trying to Process the Intentional Single Mom Concept

Following the saga of Maralee Nichols and Tristan Thompson. Suffice it to say, the whole situation is just upsetting and unsettling. I saw an article from In Touch Weekly that helped me gain a little insight into Nichols' mind:

I can only imagine what it feels like to be told that you cannot have children when you want to have children. It must have been incredibly heart breaking. So when a woman who is trying to come to terms with her infertility discovers that she's pregnant, I can completely understand why she'd want to keep her pregnancy!


However, fast forward to this article where things are just in an outright mess ... my brain struggled to make sense out of the insanity of the situation. Granted, this is tabloid fodder and not anything of high journalistic integrity, but I'm honestly trying to understand the decision to intentionally become a single mother. To be clear, the exceptions from this are single mothers due to divorce or who are of a financial status where the contribution of a partner is not exactly needed.



To summarize this article, Thompson's response to Nichols' pregnancy is that he is engaged, is to be married soon and his priority is to spend time with his family. Her response is as follows:





So she had some kind of feelings for him and she had to struggle with the thrill of a surprise pregnancy, betrayal and overall poor treatment from a horrible man. His response was appalling:

For me, his intent is clearly to erase any evidence so that he could avoid consequences for his actions. The question of waiting to have a baby with the right person would have had more weight if he wasn't trying to alleviate himself of any responsibility in their situation. Ultimately, the fact that she was told that she might never be able to bear children of her own, overrides any logical argument to wait "for the right man", in my opinion. I completely understand keeping a pregnancy where there is a possibility that it will never happen again. I understand this woman's logic for keeping her pregnancy with a less than desirable man. She was lied to and betrayed, so that anger is what is motivating her to publicly call Thompson out. I also completely believe her when she says that she will take care of her child without Thompson because her pregnancy was truly for herself. It also seems that she is able to financially take care of her child on her own, along with whatever support system she has.


I get it. I get her. This is like how I get Baby Mama #1 in my situation. I can follow the logic. Cue back to Philosophy #1: There are always exceptions to the rule. The "rule" being: Protect yourself so you don't accidentally get pregnant, resulting in having to choose between going through the process of terminating it, or having a child with a less than desirable parenting partner. If that protection fails or doesn't happen for some reason, terminate the pregnancy. Save yourself from the heartbreak and drama of a male counterpart who (is already showing signs of immaturity, complete lack of empathy and/or desire to not give any support) will only let you down. I feel for Nichols, but I understand why having her baby outweighed any unpleasantness she'd experience from Thompson.


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